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Hey Lindsey,

Therefore I’ve already been going insane with trying to figure out if my personal one friend likes me. Thus listed here is many issues that have happened….So when we very first turned into friends she made a create a keep and said it actually was our very own baby after which she wanted to fake big date and I swear she used to be all flirty nevertheless when we informed her that we enjoyed the woman she was actually all like I like you as well and a buddy and I’m puzzled because I imagined I found myself correct and I ended up being merely questioning won’t you might think exactly the same thing if someone performed that for you?

-Becca

Hey Becca,

I find it far better think folks if they let me know the way they feel—best since alternative is simply driving my self insane second guessing the reason why their particular terms and activities don’t align, what changed, and whether or not it was actually something i did so. That sort of crazy making never will get myself anyplace. However for a long time I managed to get trapped involved, thus I surely realize in which your mind is located at.

Your buddy actually into you. She likes you as a friend. You’re having difficulty assuming this lady due to the woman flirtatious conduct.

Here is the fact, however. Your friend may have planned to “fake go out” you as a way to find out if she would wish really date you—and determined that she didn’t should date you for a million appropriate explanations, many becoming:

• she’s drawn to you physically but not mentally or the other way around

• She is bicurious but not prepared date a female

• she’s feelings for an ex and is alson’t ready to end up being with anyone immediately

• She likes attention from women—and homosexual females easily target various other females no matter what their unique sex

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We have now discussed flirty relationships prior to, and
look for about that right here
when it makes it possible to discover closing from whole scenario.

You didn’t ask me exactly what your pal was actually considering, though. You asked everything I will have made of the woman conduct as well as the answer is: It depends.

You’ll find undoubtedly times I would personally have assumed she ended up being into myself, just like you performed. Additionally instances i’d have experienced through her conduct to comprehend that she desired my personal affection and attention, but could not reciprocate romantically.

You will find undoubtedly times I would have believed she was into me, when you did. Additionally there are occasions i’d have seen through the woman behavior in order to comprehend that she desired my affection and interest, but could not reciprocate romantically.

Really does the friend determine as a lesbian, or has actually she ever before dated or slept with a woman? If she’s been straight identified until she mentioned she desired to fake date you and have a bear baby, however’d brush-off the woman conduct as common flirty/bicurious straight woman. I could have flirted and been affectionate together with her whether or not it made me feel great to accomplish this, yet not anticipated it become something actual.

Indeed, for a few people, feminine sexuality is liquid plus some of the straight-identified women do continue to embrace their bi or lesbian area, at some point, sometimes because of the females they flirt with. It could happen—but it really is rare, and it’s really typically a waste of mental energy to follow those girls.

Yes, for many people, feminine sex is actually fluid and a few of these straight-identified ladies do embark on to accept their particular bi or lesbian side, at some point, occasionally using the females they flirt with. It could happen—but it really is uncommon, and it’s really usually a waste of mental power to follow those females.

If I understood she enjoyed ladies and she acted in that way, i’d have believed I experienced the opportunity with her and might have asked the girl away. But she made by herself clear. She desires a friendship only. Carry out the woman (and also you) the benefit of thinking their, and discover a person who is psychologically readily available and is really a lesbian or bisexual.

If you need to pull-back from friendship for a while, because you’ve considered there clearly was possible and also you’ve been rebuffed, that is fine. Require some room using this buddy until such time youare able observe their platonically again. Use that additional time to pursue various other ladies to make it clear towards girl friend that you are cruising for dateable females to erase any weirdness either people might be feeling.

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